Shining bright

My daughter Keira and I both like to reflect. On life and businesses, things that come our path and draws our attention.

Recently, after one of those conversations, I came across a beautiful piece of writing by Nikki Banas about stars.

Like a beautiful star shining in the night sky, your purpose is not to compare your light or brightness to any other star. Your purpose is not to wish you were a moon or a planet, or to wish you were somewhere else. Your purpose is not to change who you are or what you are made of. Your purpose is to shine your light as bright and beautiful as only you can. Your purpose is to celebrate the light in others while celebrating your own light too. Because it’s only when we are all shining our own unique lights that we can light the entire night sky.”
– NIKKI BANAS

I immediately thought of this photo of Keira.

We were visiting the Netherlands at a railway station. We had just caught up with a backpacker who used to work with us at Halls Gap Lakeside, we had such a lovely afternoon. Keira had burnt her face quite badly, yet there she was in the late afternoon sunshine, absolutely laughing her head off.

So bright.

I WhatsApped her the quote and the photo and asked her permission to include her in my writing.

There is something lovely about the idea that a star doesn’t look across the night sky wondering whether another star is brighter. It doesn’t wish it were the moon. It just shines.

We, humans, aren’t quite so good at that, and that is exactly what came up in one of my recent conversations with Keira.

We can get caught in our running minds and compare ourselves to other people’s lives, homes, careers, businesses, bodies, relationships, successes. Keeping up with the Joneses isn’t new, but social media certainly gave the Joneses a much bigger neighbourhood.

And sometimes the Joneses don’t even need to live next door. They can live quite comfortably inside our own heads, judging all sorts!

Perhaps that’s one of the reasons I love living in the Grampians.

I was chatting with a customer at my coffee window the other day. She was comparing the Grampians with another Victorian tourist destination she loves and said:

“There’s just no pretentiousness here.”

Exactly THAT!

There is space here. Lots of it.

But not just mountains, bush and enormous skies. There seems to be space to just be yourself.

Perhaps places like the Grampians attract people with similar core values. People who enjoy nature, simplicity, connection and adventure. People who are quite happy to turn up with dirt on their boots.

Not that comparison disappears when you move to the country. I still catch myself looking sideways!

Imposter syndrome frequently taps me on the shoulder.

Who am I to write about this? Someone else knows more. Someone else has more experience. Someone else’s business looks far more polished.

And there I am again, measuring my star against somebody else’s.

Which is actually quite ridiculous when you think about it.

Someone else’s brilliance doesn’t make us less brilliant.

We can admire people who are bloody good at what they do. Learn from them. Be inspired by them. Cheer ridiculously loudly for them.

Their light doesn’t take anything from ours.

Perhaps purpose is simpler than we sometimes make it too.

Maybe it isn’t one enormous thing we’re supposed to discover.

Perhaps it’s knowing what matters to you. Knowing what you value. Being curious about what lights you up. Learning from your mistakes. Changing direction when something no longer feels right.

And having enough courage not to build your life around somebody else’s definition of success.

Maybe that’s what I wanted Keira to know when I sent her that quote.

And probably what I needed reminding of myself.

There will always be someone doing something differently from you.

Thank goodness.

Imagine a night sky with only one kind of star.

So perhaps we could all spend a little less time looking sideways and a little more time discovering what makes us shine.

And when someone beside us shines brightly, celebrate the hell out of them too.

There is plenty of sky.